hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
