omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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