fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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