Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize