my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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