...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
