What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
