I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
