That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
