Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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