i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
