you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
