my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
