i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
