He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wish my penis had a tongue
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
