well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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