I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize