he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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