Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
