The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When are your genitals available?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
