I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
