You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
