The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Im part way to drunk.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
