no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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