I love black thongs
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
