let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
