please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
