I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
