Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Randomize
