I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Shame - the story of my life.
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