there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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