My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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