doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
