I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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