Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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