You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
