go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You have to summon your inner elephant
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
