butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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