Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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