i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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