when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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