help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
