They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize