dude i'm inner monologue high
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
