She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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