its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
