Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
