Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
