Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
