I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
