the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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