i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
