I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
