I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
id be glad to
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
