You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
