i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
