and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
