Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
