U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
