I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
